A Deep Resting Place

A Deep Resting Place

by | | Awakening, Presence, Self Realisation

I’ve found a deep resting place inside.
 
From here, I can hold presence in the face of fear and peace in the face of pain.
 
From here, I remain untouched.
 
 
 
Does this mean I’m free of patterning?
 
Does it mean I no longer fear? 
 
Absolutely not.
 
It means I’m free of the story.
 
It means I’m no longer bound.
 
 
 
In my heart, I know nothing can go wrong.
 
In truth, I know nothing is wrong!
 
This inner freedom is infectious.
 
The more I taste it, the more I embrace it, and the more I embrace it the more it grows.

 

 
 
What this has taken (and continues to take)
 
is my TOTAL commitment
 
and COMPLETE responsibility.
 
Indeed, this response-ability is the thread that’s unravelling me home.
 
 
 
When you stand in this willingness to take responsibility,
 
there’s nothing you can’t resolve,
 
and there’s nothing you can’t dissolve.
 
It reveals a freedom that absorbs everything into itself,
 
until nothing
 
but Self
 
remains.
 
 
 
This freedom can’t be taken and it can’t be lost.
 
It’s always here,
 
just waiting,
 
for you to choose to remember
 
that which you forgot.
END THE SEEKING: Be Here Now

END THE SEEKING: Be Here Now

by | | Awakening, Presence, Self Realisation

When we prioritise presence, we find our true home. No longer clinging to the past or reaching for the future we inhabit this moment fully, embodied and alive, but when we emphasise the future or dwell on the past, when we fixate on thought or fuse with emotion, we lose this connection. We feel this loss in our bodies and our hearts and it shows up in our lives – through our relationships, our circumstances, and our work. This loss is a loss of contact with that which is most natural – our Essential Nature – the fullness that animates each and every form. 

This loss reverberates through our psyche and our soma and perpetuates itself when we imagine that the closing of this gap is a journey to be made. We search our memory banks for those moments we felt connected and desperately try to re-create this experience of “presence”. We project it into the future and imagine how great life will be when we finally arrive at this state called “presence”, and we set off on an endless journey to find this thing called “presence” – a journey that only perpetuates the illusion that presence is not present! Meanwhile, presence awaits …

Presence is not to be found in some future moment because presence is Who You Are – right Here, right Now. So who is this one who popped out of presence? Who is this one who got lost?! So glad you asked 😉


The false identity arises out of a misunderstanding – the misperception that you are separate from Source – that you are a person, an object, a body, “an isolated fragment”. This misunderstanding causes you to fixate your attention on form, on phenomena, since that’s where you find some sense of self. Whether that phenomena be thought, emotion, a person, place, or device (!), attention is no longer rooted in its formless essence. Your attention is merged with (and therefore you are identified with) the objects in your awareness. This fracturing of attention is the fragmentation of the self – the web of identity in which you find your attention caught.

Attention is simply focused awareness, so it’s not so much that you leave your Self, but more that your attention strays from its Source, which creates the illusory appearance of separation and disconnection.

When you believe and feel that you are separate from Source, your attention is easily captivated (distracted and consumed) by objects, because there’s this deep sense of something missing. You are missing your own subjectivity. This feeling of incompleteness is the core wound of the “someone” – of the false sense of self. This feeling of “not enough” births all kinds of seeking. I demand love from others while failing to love myself. I feel unworthy and try to fix that by pursuing outside approval. I get angry and then feel ashamed for expressing my rage. Each wound comes with a host of corresponding strategies that seek to fix, soothe, control, or suppress it.

When the attention is caught in these movements, it can be tricky to disentangle. Often these movements consist of multiple aspects of the identity all working with and against each other to ensure the survival and wellbeing of the organism. We manage to unmerge from one aspect but find ourselves immediately caught in another. We unmerge from being angry and then collapse into shame for losing our temper. We unmerge from worry and then instantly fuse with the one who desperately wants to fix it. Our attention is caught on the merry-go-round of identity – the web of the false sense of self.

Extricating attention from this psychic web is vital and foundational and unveils the presence that never left. Unmerging attention from these aspects of the identity is the revelation of our true nature, as the open space that the experience of separation arises in. That said, we need to be aware that the identity will inevitably turn this into another project, because the identity believes that to unmerge and disidentify is a journey that is made through time and space, when in fact this movement of attention is actually a stopping and not a doing. It’s a stepping outside of the matrix of identity into our timeless essence. The attention is not so much moving as it is relaxing its hold (on form). It’s a stopping rather than a forging forward, and it’s this stopping that dissolves the experience of separation and thus ends seeking.

It’s this stopping which reveals YOU as you always are – untouched and unbroken, whole and complete.

THE GREAT HOMECOMING: unwinding the story

THE GREAT HOMECOMING: unwinding the story

by | | Awakening, Self Realisation

When we say Yes to our own unravelling (over and above any personal hopes and dreams) we are calling for the rewinding and unwinding of our personal story.

The Ground of Being is the Source from which all manifestation arises. Like a diamond it’s multi-faceted and like a sphere it’s eternal. Each spark of consciousness arises from this radiant light as a unique expression and therein lies the possibility of Self-forgetfulness. Inherent within creation is the potential to become so captivated by form that the formless is forgotten. This core misperception is a wound in and of itself because there’s nothing more painful than losing sight of All That Is; and so begins the story of separation. The beauty of this is that only through perceived disconnection can we experience the Great Homecoming. Only through forgetfulness can we remember Who We Truly Are.

Every expression is completely divine and utterly unique. However, in the state of Self-forgetfulness this expression becomes less and less natural and more and more conditioned. The Great Expanse dreams itself into limitation and contraction. In this loss of contact (with Source) a distortion field is created. Over time and over our life-time(s) these layers accumulate until we’re so far out in the matrix of our own making that our very Being is eclipsed by the story we’ve woven.

Although the stories are diverse, they’re all born of this belief in separation. The Great Homecoming is the unwinding of this story, which manifests as a retracing of our steps as we revisit every misunderstanding until no more fear remains. Everything that was ever exiled, forgotten or cast into shadow will be met, acknowledged and seen to be what it truly is. Like Hansel and Gretel following the breadcrumbs, it’s the Golden Thread of our life-story that leads us home.

Our willingness to pull that one loose thread on a weave we’ve been carefully crafting is equal to our willingness to let go of our personal story. As we allow the whole thing to unravel before our eyes, our landing back in Being returns us to the very place where we left off, the exact point where only our face can meet the Ground. It’s the reunion with our distinct expression – as a unique manifestation of Source – that is the not oft talked of gift of Coming Home. No other Soul will ever touch this place from where you emerged and from where you’ll re-emerge as the living embodiment of Truth in Form. This re-emergence requires your willingness to lose the person you believe yourself to be because that individual is a dream, and in your willingness to once again merge with Source, you reclaim your True Sovereignty as Soul.

In the play of manifestation, there never has nor ever will be a snowflake such as You.

MEETING YOUR SELF: breaking the spell of identification

MEETING YOUR SELF: breaking the spell of identification

by | | Awakening, Awareness, Healing

There will be times when you’re consumed by your own reactivity. The cacophony of voices in your head will cloud your vision and the tsunami of emotion will flood your heart. Lost and disoriented, you may reach for the nearest quick fix or withdraw beyond sight, opting for distraction and absence over braving the storms of your fragmented inner life.

Then there will be times when you’re able to hold it all. Amidst the chaos and confusion your seeing will penetrate the clouds and your presence will part the waves. No longer blinded by your own tempest, you’ll look gently into that dark night and your gaze will cast the first rays of light.

Through attention and devotion, you make contact with your true nature. Your attention relaxes. No longer fixated on thought and external stimuli, it comes to rest in its Source, which is Awareness itself. This peace of mind is reflected in the body as Loving Presence. As the body relaxes and lets Life in, the peace of Being floods the system. The breath deepens, the heart opens and your capacity to feel heightens. Slowly but surely you become the space – the container and the field – where healing takes place.

In moments of overwhelm, collapse and full blown reaction, there’s an invitation: 

You’re invited to notice that You are the Seer and not the seen.

 

In hindsight you’ll see that even though it felt as if you lost yourself, you were still there watching it all. So who (I might ask!) is this one who got lost? If you were the one watching it, who was the one kicking and screaming?

To notice that You Are Aware is to begin to carve out the space that’s needed for weathering such storms. At times it might feel as if awareness is all you have. As the waves crash against the shore of your inner world, you can hold fast to this life-raft: I Am Aware. Like the eye of the storm, you can rest as this silent centre as chaos erupts around you.

At other times, even this may seem like a tall order. Your attention will merge with the experience and it will seem as though you’re one with it. In those moments, you can inquire Who Is Aware? This inquiry serves to re-direct your attention from the experience to your awareness of it. This may forge just enough distance (between you and your experience) to break the spell of identification. This subtle inquiry (which is really just a catalyst to re-direct the attention) is essential and foundational for all inner work. 

Once your attention has sufficiently broken free from the content of experience:

You’re invited to notice that You are not separate from that which you see.

As the wind picks up and the rain falls, a sun appears on the horizon. Light filters through the dark clouds, illuminating the waves on the ocean. This sun is your inner eye – your capacity to witness this inner landscape. As your attention comes to rest as awareness, you notice the distance between You and that which you look upon. It’s this recognition of distance, which in truth is simply space, that allows you to turn towards your experience rather than being merged with it. In this direct meeting, you can notice how intimate you are with it. Not only do you see it but you also deeply feel it. In truth, there’s no actual distance between the one seeing and feeling and that which is seen and felt. They’re simply different aspects of the same fundamental reality. Even the space between you and everything you see is not empty. Rather than creating distance and division, space actually connects you to what you see. It’s almost as if your seeing is the space itself, gently reaching out to touch what it sees.

In this intimacy of seeing, where everything is recognised to be intimately connected to the one seeing it:

You’re invited to notice that You are the Holding Space for everything you see.

 

In this recognition of non-separation, there’s a natural impulse to make contact with what arises. When you’re intimate with your experience you can’t help but hold it with compassion, for you recognise that it’s inseparable from who you are. You discover that your very awareness can touch your experience in ways that transform it. Like a Mother with a child, even the softness of your gaze can soothe and revive.

When you turn towards the content of your experience – the physical, emotional, and mental layers – you can notice how all of these layers comprise a sense of someone, the identity itself. As you rest in the intimacy of your own Loving Presence, you can turn towards this ‘someone’. From the wholeness of your Being, you can see that this part of you is rooted in a misperception of separation. Caught in a fear-based narrative, it churns out physiological and emotional alarms, designed to defend the organism from threat or harm.

As Awareness infuses the body space and realises its intimacy with all of Life it becomes more than simply ‘aware’, it becomes Presence itself. We might describe Presence as embodied awareness – awareness that loves. Without Love, we are like flowers without sunlight. It’s this nectar that all pain cries out for, a nectar that’s freely given through your undivided attention and attuned presence. In this way, you can resolve all misunderstanding and dissolve all fear. In this way, you can bridge the gap of perceived separation between the false identity and who you truly are. In this way, you can come to know the Truth of your Being, and everything that lost its way can be touched, included and absorbed by this endless embrace.

BODY WISDOM: the path of healing

BODY WISDOM: the path of healing

by | | Embodiment, Healing, Wound Wisdom

Within the body – this vessel of consciousness and organ of perception – exists a rich tapestry of wisdom whispering in mysterious melodies and yet longing to be decoded by the one willing to listen. To the one who’s grown accustomed to perceiving through thought – who relies on the mind to decide and discern – this wisdom may be untapped or even muted. However, it’s never too late to open the doors to a world that defies confinement and expands beyond the logic of mere intellect!

Welcome to the altar of your Soul.

Through the body, we can dismantle the patterning with a grace and an accuracy that blows the mind to pieces. The body is the doorway to the blueprint of your Soul. She carries all information that you came here to unravel – every memory, every contraction, every karmic knot that awaits resolution. There’s no need for you to understand, remember or even know what awaits illumination; but if understanding, remembrance and knowledge should arise then that’s beautiful!

What’s required is the capacity to Be With what arises, no matter how painful or uncomfortable. What’s called for is the courage of Heart to fully feel and welcome all that’s calling for your attention. And so begins a healing journey, an inner relationship and an awakening within.

Healing through the Body

The body (and all her subtle layers) is the store-house for all that remains exiled. In this contracted state, there’s fragmentation, as if pieces of your Soul are no longer available to you. When you call these forgotten parts home – the parts that have been pushed out of view – you invite them back into wholeness. The contraction is ultimately transient and only held together by fear. Through your loving presence it relaxes back into Source. As the contraction unravels, the latent energy stored within it is unleashed.

What may be felt and experienced as a release or dissolution is actually a transmutation, for energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be transformed.

There’s no right way to traverse this path. The purification of consciousness is as varied as it is vast as it is deep. Each Soul, each Body and each Heart calls for different subtleties in approach, navigation and surrender. So the core of this journey calls for your willingness to experiment, to fall, to get back up again and to listen deeply to what works for you. Having said that, there are some underlying principles that can be adapted to your own way of working. If we start with a felt contraction or known issue at hand – one that’s perceived in this very moment – then we can began this inner dialogue …

Awaken your Innate Capacity to Heal

 

Your job as Presence is to restore mobility to the paralysed parts of you. As loving-awareness, you breathe new life into stagnant, frozen energy.

Four Steps to Freedom: 

  1. Clear-seeing (establishing awareness)
  2. Pure-feeling (cultivating heart)
  3. Being With (making contact)
  4. Surrender (letting go)

1. Clear-seeing (establishing awareness)

The first step to freedom is the capacity to see and then acknowledge what’s here.

As the objective observer you’re able to hold space for everything that arises without judging or identifying with it. You are the Seer and Perceiver of all experience.

Practices to cultivate Awareness include mindfulness techniques, spiritual inquiry and meditation. 

The orientation of these practices calls for a re-direction of attention from phenomena (the objects we perceive) to the one perceiving. To rest as Awareness is to rest as the silent space of pure subjectivity.

Related Article: Seeing is not believing: emerging from the story of Me

 

2. Pure feeling (Cultivating Heart)

The second step to freedom is the capacity to sense and feel that which is here.

The Felt Sense of an issue is the recognition of it as comprising a visceral and energetic presence. Through careful and patient investigation one can begin to locate and describe the felt sense of what’s here, whether this appears as sensation, emotion, image, symbol, thought or all of the above.

Pure-feeling is the capacity of Heart to stay open in the midst of pain.

Practices to cultivate your feeling system are any embodiment practice that fine tunes your ability to sense and feel what arises. Any practice that brings you into the body and expands awareness to include subtle energies enhances pure-feeling. Think dance, movement, body-work, breath-work, voice-work, and emotional awareness practices.

3. Being With (making contact)

The third step to freedom is where clear-seeing meets pure-feeling and enters INTO RELATIONSHIP with that which is here.

This is where that which was set aside for future digestion is brought into the light of awareness to be seen, felt, heard and met. Through this meeting there’s the opportunity to practice and cultivate all the qualities that are vital for relationship to flourish: openness, understanding, compassion, and tenderness. When the lost and forgotten part is finally held in Deep Empathy, then the Life energy trapped within this karmic knot is finally able to move. What releases is the misunderstanding that this part became bound by. However, this does not happen through trying to fix, change, avoid, or eliminate; but by simply Being With.

Practices to cultivate being in relationship with what arises include all heart-based and devotional practices. In addition, engaging in service and conscious relationship cultivates the qualities required to make empathic and respectful contact with whatever you’re relating to (whether that be another sentient being or fragments of your psyche).

4. Surrender (Letting go)

The fourth step to freedom is an act of letting go beyond what you know.

When the exiled part feels deeply heard and met then its function of protection dissolves and it can be absorbed and integrated back into pure consciousness, no longer solidified by its misunderstanding. We may notice life energy beginning to flood the system as the wounded structure begins to collapse. At this point, a letting go beyond identification is possible. As Life begins to flow again, our only job is to surrender to this movement.

The key here is to really receive and relax into any movement, opening, and expansion. If anything arises as resistance to this re-calibration, then we can repeat steps one through three by acknowledging, sensing and being with this resistance.

Disclaimer

As with any spiritual instruction, this may sound more simple than it is to put into practice. We all know that we need to cultivate awareness and accept our feelings but when the rubber hits the road we may be easily consumed by panic, shame and overwhelm. 

In truth, what these words point to (which is the act of Being With) is incredibly simple. However, the recognition of this simplicity arises from a somewhat complex journey. As we apply these principles to a fragmented psyche, we’re bound to meet up with all kinds of twists and turns + tricks and traps as the survival strategies get activated. It’s not our job to lament this reality, but rather our duty to show up and deal with the hand we’ve been dealt. Practice is the key word here and it’s the practice of Life.

The awakening to your Self and the inclusion of everything you pushed away is a subtle terrain to navigate. That’s why it can be incredibly helpful to have a witness and ultimately a support system to hold space for those things that feel challenging and just out of view.