When we prioritise presence, we find our true home. No longer clinging to the past or reaching for the future we inhabit this moment fully, embodied and alive, but when we emphasise the future or dwell on the past, when we fixate on thought or fuse with emotion, we lose this connection. We feel this loss in our bodies and our hearts and it shows up in our lives – through our relationships, our circumstances, and our work. This loss is a loss of contact with that which is most natural – our Essential Nature – the fullness that animates each and every form.Â
This loss reverberates through our psyche and our soma and perpetuates itself when we imagine that the closing of this gap is a journey to be made. We search our memory banks for those moments we felt connected and desperately try to re-create this experience of “presence”. We project it into the future and imagine how great life will be when we finally arrive at this state called “presence”, and we set off on an endless journey to find this thing called “presence” – a journey that only perpetuates the illusion that presence is not present! Meanwhile, presence awaits …
Presence is not to be found in some future moment because presence is Who You Are – right Here, right Now. So who is this one who popped out of presence? Who is this one who got lost?! So glad you asked 😉
The false identity arises out of a misunderstanding – the misperception that you are separate from Source – that you are a person, an object, a body, “an isolated fragment”. This misunderstanding causes you to fixate your attention on form, on phenomena, since that’s where you find some sense of self. Whether that phenomena be thought, emotion, a person, place, or device (!), attention is no longer rooted in its formless essence. Your attention is merged with (and therefore you are identified with) the objects in your awareness. This fracturing of attention is the fragmentation of the self – the web of identity in which you find your attention caught.
Attention is simply focused awareness, so it’s not so much that you leave your Self, but more that your attention strays from its Source, which creates the illusory appearance of separation and disconnection.
When you believe and feel that you are separate from Source, your attention is easily captivated (distracted and consumed) by objects, because there’s this deep sense of something missing. You are missing your own subjectivity. This feeling of incompleteness is the core wound of the “someone” – of the false sense of self. This feeling of “not enough” births all kinds of seeking. I demand love from others while failing to love myself. I feel unworthy and try to fix that by pursuing outside approval. I get angry and then feel ashamed for expressing my rage. Each wound comes with a host of corresponding strategies that seek to fix, soothe, control, or suppress it.
When the attention is caught in these movements, it can be tricky to disentangle. Often these movements consist of multiple aspects of the identity all working with and against each other to ensure the survival and wellbeing of the organism. We manage to unmerge from one aspect but find ourselves immediately caught in another. We unmerge from being angry and then collapse into shame for losing our temper. We unmerge from worry and then instantly fuse with the one who desperately wants to fix it. Our attention is caught on the merry-go-round of identity – the web of the false sense of self.
Extricating attention from this psychic web is vital and foundational and unveils the presence that never left. Unmerging attention from these aspects of the identity is the revelation of our true nature, as the open space that the experience of separation arises in. That said, we need to be aware that the identity will inevitably turn this into another project, because the identity believes that to unmerge and disidentify is a journey that is made through time and space, when in fact this movement of attention is actually a stopping and not a doing. It’s a stepping outside of the matrix of identity into our timeless essence. The attention is not so much moving as it is relaxing its hold (on form). It’s a stopping rather than a forging forward, and it’s this stopping that dissolves the experience of separation and thus ends seeking.
It’s this stopping which reveals YOU as you always are – untouched and unbroken, whole and complete.
When we say Yes to our own unravelling (over and above any personal hopes and dreams) we are calling for the rewinding and unwinding of our personal story.
The Ground of Being is the Source from which all manifestation arises. Like a diamond it’s multi-faceted and like a sphere it’s eternal. Each spark of consciousness arises from this radiant light as a unique expression and therein lies the possibility of Self-forgetfulness. Inherent within creation is the potential to become so captivated by form that the formless is forgotten. This core misperception is a wound in and of itself because there’s nothing more painful than losing sight of All That Is; and so begins the story of separation. The beauty of this is that only through perceived disconnection can we experience the Great Homecoming. Only through forgetfulness can we remember Who We Truly Are.
Every expression is completely divine and utterly unique. However, in the state of Self-forgetfulness this expression becomes less and less natural and more and more conditioned. The Great Expanse dreams itself into limitation and contraction. In this loss of contact (with Source) a distortion field is created. Over time and over our life-time(s) these layers accumulate until we’re so far out in the matrix of our own making that our very Being is eclipsed by the story we’ve woven.
Although the stories are diverse, they’re all born of this belief in separation. The Great Homecoming is the unwinding of this story, which manifests as a retracing of our steps as we revisit every misunderstanding until no more fear remains. Everything that was ever exiled, forgotten or cast into shadow will be met, acknowledged and seen to be what it truly is. Like Hansel and Gretel following the breadcrumbs, it’s the Golden Thread of our life-story that leads us home.
Our willingness to pull that one loose thread on a weave we’ve been carefully crafting is equal to our willingness to let go of our personal story. As we allow the whole thing to unravel before our eyes, our landing back in Being returns us to the very place where we left off, the exact point where only our face can meet the Ground. It’s the reunion with our distinct expression – as a unique manifestation of Source – that is the not oft talked of gift of Coming Home. No other Soul will ever touch this place from where you emerged and from where you’ll re-emerge as the living embodiment of Truth in Form. This re-emergence requires your willingness to lose the person you believe yourself to be because that individual is a dream, and in your willingness to once again merge with Source, you reclaim your True Sovereignty as Soul.
In the play of manifestation, there never has nor ever will be a snowflake such as You.
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There will be times when you’re consumed by your own reactivity. The cacophony of voices in your head will cloud your vision and the tsunami of emotion will flood your heart. Lost and disoriented, you may reach for the nearest quick fix or withdraw beyond sight, opting for distraction and absence over braving the storms of your fragmented inner life.
Then there will be times when you’re able to hold it all. Amidst the chaos and confusion your seeing will penetrate the clouds and your presence will part the waves. No longer blinded by your own tempest, you’ll look gently into that dark night and your gaze will cast the first rays of light.
Through attention and devotion, you make contact with your true nature. Your attention relaxes. No longer fixated on thought and external stimuli, it comes to rest in its Source, which is Awareness itself. This peace of mind is reflected in the body as Loving Presence. As the body relaxes and lets Life in, the peace of Being floods the system. The breath deepens, the heart opens and your capacity to feel heightens. Slowly but surely you become the space – the container and the field – where healing takes place.
In moments of overwhelm, collapse and full blown reaction, there’s an invitation:Â
You’re invited to notice that You are the Seer and not the seen.
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In hindsight you’ll see that even though it felt as if you lost yourself, you were still there watching it all. So who (I might ask!) is this one who got lost? If you were the one watching it, who was the one kicking and screaming?
To notice that You Are Aware is to begin to carve out the space that’s needed for weathering such storms. At times it might feel as if awareness is all you have. As the waves crash against the shore of your inner world, you can hold fast to this life-raft: I Am Aware. Like the eye of the storm, you can rest as this silent centre as chaos erupts around you.
At other times, even this may seem like a tall order. Your attention will merge with the experience and it will seem as though you’re one with it. In those moments, you can inquire Who Is Aware? This inquiry serves to re-direct your attention from the experience to your awareness of it. This may forge just enough distance (between you and your experience) to break the spell of identification. This subtle inquiry (which is really just a catalyst to re-direct the attention) is essential and foundational for all inner work.Â
Once your attention has sufficiently broken free from the content of experience:
You’re invited to notice that You are not separatefrom that which you see.
As the wind picks up and the rain falls, a sun appears on the horizon. Light filters through the dark clouds, illuminating the waves on the ocean. This sun is your inner eye – your capacity to witness this inner landscape. As your attention comes to rest as awareness, you notice the distance between You and that which you look upon. It’s this recognition of distance, which in truth is simply space, that allows you to turn towards your experience rather than being merged with it. In this direct meeting, you can notice how intimate you are with it. Not only do you see it but you also deeply feel it. In truth, there’s no actual distance between the one seeing and feeling and that which is seen and felt. They’re simply different aspects of the same fundamental reality. Even the space between you and everything you see is not empty. Rather than creating distance and division, space actually connects you to what you see. It’s almost as if your seeing is the space itself, gently reaching out to touch what it sees.
In this intimacy of seeing, where everything is recognised to be intimately connected to the one seeing it:
You’re invited to notice that You are the Holding Spacefor everything you see.
In this recognition of non-separation, there’s a natural impulse to make contact with what arises. When you’re intimate with your experience you can’t help but hold it with compassion, for you recognise that it’s inseparable from who you are. You discover that your very awareness can touch your experience in ways that transform it. Like a Mother with a child, even the softness of your gaze can soothe and revive.
When you turn towards the content of your experience – the physical, emotional, and mental layers – you can notice how all of these layers comprise a sense of someone, the identity itself. As you rest in the intimacy of your own Loving Presence, you can turn towards this ‘someone’. From the wholeness of your Being, you can see that this part of you is rooted in a misperception of separation. Caught in a fear-based narrative, it churns out physiological and emotional alarms, designed to defend the organism from threat or harm.
As Awareness infuses the body space and realises its intimacy with all of Life it becomes more than simply ‘aware’, it becomes Presence itself. We might describe Presence as embodied awareness – awareness that loves. Without Love, we are like flowers without sunlight. It’s this nectar that all pain cries out for, a nectar that’s freely given through your undivided attention and attuned presence. In this way, you can resolve all misunderstanding and dissolve all fear. In this way, you can bridge the gap of perceived separation between the false identity and who you truly are. In this way, you can come to know the Truth of your Being, and everything that lost its way can be touched, included and absorbed by this endless embrace.
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Relative Healing brings that which is out of balance back into greater harmony and can occur with great success whilst leaving the core construct of a ‘person’ relatively intact. This is when healing is approached by ‘someone’ (the separated self) to ‘get something’ (an improved experience).
As long as the core construct of the person is left in place, the root of all issues and ailments remains untouched, because all issues are rooted in the ‘person’, which exists as a conditioned web of identity rooted in fear and perceiving itself to be separate from Source.
For True Healing to be the case, the very root of suffering (which is the personal identity) must be resolved and dissolved into Source. True Healing therefore happens WITHIN and DUE TO the Full Embrace of Truth. This includes the embrace of your Self across all dimensions of Reality ~ from Absolute, across Heart, and deeply into the Human / Body / Earth ~ as the very integration and incarnation of Truth into Form.
What remains is not trans-human, but the purity of the True Human dancing as the Absolute through and as Creation.
The 5 Keys to True Healing
(a brief and by no means comprehensive summary, but nevertheless that which has consistently shown itself (at least to this one) to be utterly essential)
1. Dedication (to Truth)
When you align with Truth, which means to say that this becomes the one-pointed focus of your existence, then everything else within that begins to align itself.
When every move you make arises from this Dedication to Truth, then everything that needs to be seen is seen, everything that needs to be released is released and everything that needs to be healed is healed, because when you align with Truth, you align with the true purpose of your existence, which is to awaken to who you truly are, and you begin to unravel the root cause of your suffering, which is the belief in yourself as a separate identity.
So before any move is made, root yourself in this Dedication. Let this become that which moves you. Integrity is Key and the foundation for Living Truly. Allow your Dedication to bring everything that has anything to do with you into this alignment.
2. Honesty
This requires that you take a deep and honest look at yourself and ACKNOWLEDGE ~ through Profound Honesty ~ that which you un-cover.
At your core, you may be whole and complete, but the Reality is that your whole existence is rooted in the belief that you are a person, and the web of this separate identity has bled into every area of your life, creating a baseline of suffering. There is nothing pessimistic about this. We have chosen this. This is the great web we weave and the purpose of our existence ~ to unravel this web into perfection.
The profundity of the honesty that is required, is testament to the fact that through this honesty (which penetrates all layers of self-protection) there is the coming face to face with the deep loss of everything that you cling to and the deep pain of every wound you harbor. This honesty removes the option of all hiding and running and reveals that which is vital to be seen for Truth to happen.
So be honest, and SEE that there is much within (and without) that is waiting to be brought into a MUCH greater alignment.
3. Responsibility
In the Grand Scheme of Reality, you are the Great Web Weaver of your experience. This recognition requires a quantum leap from personal perception (where you perceive that things just happen to you) to God Perception, where you recognise that every move in this game of God ~ even the apparent atrocities ~ has been designed to further evolve and open you.
KNOW that everything that ever happened to you was created by You. There are no mistakes or accidents. You ARE the creator. This does not mean berating yourself for horror and devastation. No. This is about owning your pain and not buying into blame or victim stories. Every challenge we receive is a gift in the form of carefully crafted lessons placed at the core of all experience.
This is about knowing that you have the Power to respond accordingly and that you are literally response-able. It means acknowledging the pain and negativity you carry, holding it in your Heart, and daring to look. It means no longer lapsing into avoidance, denial, or blame, and it means no longer running away from that which haunts you. It means having the courage to walk into the darkness of your own psyche and taking responsibility for what you find there, because you alone can walk there, and you alone can bring it to the light.
4. Inquiry
You Are the Light, and it’s the Light of your Honest Looking, fuelled by your Dedication to unveiling Truth across Everything, that initiates True Healing.
Become the eagle’s eye that catches even the slightest movement within. Know that your laser-like vision is sufficient to dissolve (when combined with surrender) that which it penetrates. Your Seeing ~ combined with dedication, complete honesty, and the full taking of responsibility ~ cannot be underestimated. You are the light bearer whose radiance shines through your conditioning leaving only transparency in its wake. Through thorough and passionate self investigation, you hold the power to deconstruct and dissolve everything you look upon.
And in the moment that you deeply acknowledge that which you look upon, a dual revelation unfolds ~ You are Not That which you look upon, You are That which looks. Deeply rest as the Spacious Awareness of all phenomena. Know that everything that rises is but a passing show, and You remain utterly untouched.
5. Surrender
Give Way. Let Go. Dive Deep. Â
It’s the very act of Surrender (which is the letting go of everything that stands between you and Reality) which allows you to fall through every layer of the conditioned self.
This is not a simple step by step process. We are speaking of opening to pure Life Force. We are speaking of the great resolution and dissolution that opens you to God. This is your Life’s Work. Embrace it, and know that this is what you came here to do.
With all the winds in your sails pointing in Her direction, she will carry you, carry you, carry you Home.
And as you pass through layer after layer ~ OPEN. Open your Mind, Open your Heart, Open your Gut. Open, Open, Open!
It’s the Fusion of these 5 keys that enables the purification of Consciousness.
But the moment we enter into this embrace with any agenda to move away from pain or move towards pleasure (disguised as a desire for Healing) then not only do we miss the point (and the boat), but we actually move more deeply into the ignorance that gives birth to the need for that Healing in the first place.
True Healing does not start with any movement away from your present experience, even if that movement is dressed in the clothes of wanting to wake up (out of here). There is no True Healing without deeply meeting everything you are standing with as an individual.
This is not about self-improvement. This is about the dissolution of our perceived sense of identity to reveal our True nature, and no-one can tell you how to do this. It’s divinely unique for each Soul. It can be pointed to and transmitted, but ultimately it requires You surrendering to Your Self, for the weave to be gracefully unwoven by Life Herself, as yourSelf.
Life was not born to be transcended. Her every move is guided by the intelligence and power required to unravel you from the Heart of your Individuality to the Heart of God. By Living your Life as Love for YourSelf, you invite the support of Creation to burn everything that stands between you and Reality.
And in your willingness to face the pain and the fear at the root of your person, Life will provide you with the exact situations you need to undo every layer that has risen on top of that, and then deeply into the core of that.
When every cell in you is vibrating with the same agreement, then you open yourself to the facilitation of all the forces in the Universe.
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